pushing pulse

[machinery]

call! call! call!
it?s your voice i must hold and capture
to maintain.

a wild purple blossom in
in what was once a frigid affair,
my heart has once again open;
the red beats a pulse.

now only voices with miles between us,
i yearn.

drive! drive! drive!
(get here and give me hands.
give me wet remarks from yr lips
and express yrself in exhales against my ears.)

now and then, the miles disappear.

we talk in facial expressions.
words not needed when we are sincere.
words can defer from the moment at hand.
words are phone calls, not her left eye to my right.

nicknames roll along with our bodies
from couch to floor, to bed to back porch
we dance...

she calls me hun in candles? glow
and i call her babe under the moonlight.

such a tired and teary moment when her brake lights
fade and only the smell of her car?s exhaust remains.

soon! soon! soon!
her voice will call
and her body will follow.
but, my heart will always push
with the persistent thought of her.

[sarafina mable]

i really like the language and descriptions you use in this piece, in particular--the referenced colors in the second stanza, "words are phonecalls", and the last two lines seemed to fall in a soothing rhythm.
the only thing that didn't suit me specifically was the repetition of 3 words with exclamation points, they kind of couldn't match the level of the rest of the piece.

[sarafina mable]

also, i've tried a couple of times but i can't get any of the links to work on your website

[machinery]

ha, yeah; i've been lazy.

www.angelfire.com/poetry/parrish

still works there.

i just haven't worked on my dot-com website yet.

it's up, but i haven't put the pages together.

school work and woman keep a tired man exhausted.

[machinery]

with the repetition of words and exclamtions i was trying to acheive a continous rise and fall feeling through out the poem.

and in the end it's a happy medium.

or an acceptance for the now and in need of the future.

i'm not sure this piece is done, but lately i've been saying that with all my work...i always try to refine (and or destroy) my pieces. I always think i can make it better (in words i think it sucks)

i'm caught in descriptions and thesaursas page pulling.

and i think it makes my lines seem choppy.

tell me what you think?